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Now you can finally understand that awkward smile your parent had on their faces when you told that joke….

Today, after 4 years of trying to help my husband with his gambling and drug addictions I was dumped for a Single life sux i want a sexy girlfriend, drug addict with outstanding criminal warrants…and they are living in one of my cars.

FML April 5, at 2: Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house.

And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere.

I clean up every time.

FML March 31, at 9: I am adopted. Today I spent an hour getting ready for my first date of the year, only to wait 30 min in the cold and then walking back home by myself.

On his way to the date he got invited for a threesome and decided to do that instead. FML March 27, at 8: Today, my husband is pissed off, withholding affection, and not speaking to me.

Today, my boyfriend not only completely forgot my birthday but left me home alone with a busted shoulder in a sling to go trip on acid with his friends. Today I decided to shave my back with clippers by myself and of course there are little cut marks all over girlfriehd back…my girl saw them and accused me of cheating and left me. FML March 13, at 1: All I did was shaking his hand normally, but it still dislocated three of his knuckles.

My daughter made me call his mother to explain what I did. FML September 29, at I try to seduce him regularly, but he always turns me down.

But I should feel flattered: FML September 2, at 8: Today, I finally got home after not seeing my husband for a few months because of work. He grew an enormous ginger moustache like Yosemite Sam. After months apart, we are now arguing because he refuses to aant and I refuse to kiss him until he does.

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